I couldn't sleep last night. I got into bed at midnight and after tossing and turning, unable to sleep, I looked at the clock and it was 4:30am. I think I got three or four hours of actual sleep before I started my day (which has felt like years.)
Basically, long story short: I moved to Maine to go to midwifery school. I found a great little apartment there, so I moved a month before school actually started to get settled. As it turned out I didn't get as much financial aid as I thought I was going to get, so I had to withdraw from the program after the first week. I debated staying in Maine, but it made more sense to move back to Vermont (where all my family is) and live with my mom for awhile and save some money. So that's what i'm doing...
(My living room before being packed into boxes)
I've been pretty numb through the whole moving process, from saying goodbye to everyone, to packing, to cleaning. Driving, being in my hometown and unpacking all my stuff into my old room in my moms house. It's setting in a bit but for the most part I'm just numb, it just all feels like a dream. Nothing is really good or bad, it's just strange and surreal. It's hard to believe that I'm actually back and not just visiting.
(It's so empty, but the sun was always amazing in this room)
I'm gonna miss so many things about Maine. I met so many incredible people there that i'll miss seeing on a daily basis. We're gonna stay in touch, but it's not the same and I know there's an inevitability that we'll drift apart at somepoint. Gah, I want to see what happens in there lives! And be there for all of the exciting milestones! I guess that's why Facebook exists, but it's not like actually being there.
Even though school didn't work out, I don't regret the time I spent in Maine. I gained so much perspective. Moving to a new town where I knew absolutely no one was incredible. It was challenging and freeing all at once. I loved learning the ins and outs about a new community. I was accepted with such open arms and loving hearts. I showed myself that I can take care of myself, and create a home and community from scratch. I will carry all of the experiences and memories with me into this next phase of life. And I am excited for whatever is next <3
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